Selvaggio is available for interviews about the dangers and phenomena of love triangles, and how to avoid them, in light of today's "NASA love triangle" and attempted kidnapping.
Selvaggio, an adjunct professor at the Reformed Presbyterian Theological Seminary in
Perils of the "
Love triangles are created when a married couple allows a third party to intrude into their relationship. Such third parties include:
- Work. When he practiced law, he often heard the saying, "The law is a jealous mistress." Work can quickly become the "other woman" in a marriage, as can workplace relationships.
- An emotional love triangle with another person that can be just as devastating as a sexual love triangle.
- An adulterous affair.
- Pornography, which makes another person a rival to your spouse.
- Ministry or a calling can become a rival to your spouse.
- Family or friends begin to exert so much influence in a marriage that they undermine marital communication and trust.
- Recreation: placing leisure time above the needs of the spouse.
- Children, when they become the center of the relationship.
How to defend against the triangle:
- Establish and maintain mutually agreed upon boundaries to other relationships of life. Frequently assess whether work, friends, family, recreation, or even children are intruding inappropriately into your marriage relationship.
- Make certain that you schedule time to be alone together. It is vital to carve out time just for yourselves.
- If you have children, analyze the time you are spending on your children and their extra-curricular activities and consider what might need to be discontinued.