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Stuff We're Not Making Up

Contact: James Sterling, Reporter, Troy Beacon, 313-605-5017


TROY, Mich., Mar. 31 /Standard Newswire/ -- The following is submitted for publication by James Sterling:


A Ford Expedition was pulled over Thursday for speeding on I-75 and lo-and-behold it turns out the vehicle contained a street value of over $1-million dollars worth of cocaine. Folks, I ask you, what idiots with 12-kilos of cocaine in their vehicle would attract attention by speeding? I give you, Anthony Lorenzo Gonzalez, 21, and Andon Filipi, 27, both of Arlington Heights, Illinois. Anyone affiliated with them can get the pair out of jail by paying the mere sum of $600,000.00 each for their straight-up bonds.


The Communist Party of America recently found some old documents of songwriter, labor organizer, communist Joe Hill – who was executed by firing squad in 1915 – and donated them to New York University. NYU lapped up the communist documents like a dog laps up toilet water. The documents contain decades of party history including founding documents, secret code words, personal letters, smuggled directives from Moscow and some other junk.


Today marks the second anniversary of Terri Schiavo's death. Terri you will recall was murdered by court ordered starvation/dehydration. Terri died on March 31, 2005.